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Words by X.R.- this just seemed so relevant. October 17, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — lillybella83 @ 3:50 pm


It’s 2am and I can’t sleep because your words keep sounding in my head: “You can’t stick with anything, you went from shooting weddings, to different photography, you had a studio then came back home, then had another studio and came back home, now you are doing this trying to help people. You can’t stick to anything, you keep changing and you say you succeeded? You did it because you love it but… you can’t stick to anything how do you expect to succeed. You never listen to anyone, you think your opinion is the only one, you are selfish you only think about yourself and no one else, you are CRAZY.” Well I am here to tell you that YOU are wrong! I have succeeded because I am doing what I love. I may not be making the money I used to but I will again soon only because it is an means to an end. I love what I do. Your opinion of me does not matter, what matters is MY opinion of me. I have listen to your opinion of me for the last 15 years and I am done. Yes, I have done different photography and because I love what I do I can shoot just about anything, not just that I can design, I can market, I can do a website, I can motivate, I can talk about nutrition and understand why I eat what I eat, I can train someone and help them not just lose weight but motivate them to be the best that they can be, I can even run long distances, I have owned a studio and come back home and I have succeeded both times because I still loved doing what I do. I have survived postpartum depression twice!!!! And I am still here. Your definition of success is not my definition of success. Yes I am broke, but not broken hearted anymore. If you can’t love me the way I am it does not matter because I have learned to love myself just the way I am. Yes, I fall but every time I get back up. I don’t need your encouragement because deep down I have found my own voice. This voice reminds me to dream, don’t give up and keep moving forward. Your words have been left in the distance as I run toward my new future. I am scared, but I have found many new friends who do support me. If you can’t accept me for who I am then that’s your loss not mine. The only thing CRAZY about me is letting you get to me. I will continue to be selfish if it means that by helping people it is helping myself. I do not feel guilty for having passion. If you don’t have it or have the guts to pursue it then that’s up to you. For the first time in my life I have learned to love, respect and take care of myself. My success is my success. Don’t let anyone determine what your success is because when it comes down to it, if you are not living your own life you are living for someone else, happiness does not come from the money you have or don’t, it comes from within and believing in yourself. In hope, in dreams. Reality keeps you grounded, dreams keep you alive so keep on dreaming and don’t let others voices stop you from listening to your own voice.
—-Amazing words by a woman that I truly admire and see alot of myself in.  I had many relationships that got me no where all because of fear of being alone.  I will never let this happen to me again.